Nowadays, it’s really common for someone to hear about a toxic relationship. These types of relationships concern and may include a significant other, friends, relatives, coworkers, and even family members. But what exactly is a toxic person? It’s the one that believes that everyone and everything revolves around it and has to deal with it. These types of people usually want to impose their opinion and control every aspect of somebody’s life. Normally, the communication that develops between them and another person, has negative consequences theoretically and practically. The signs that disclose the fact that someone is in a toxic relationship are sometimes apparent, but in the case, they are not then there appear problems in setting boundaries.

            A relationship is toxic when a person’s behavior is harmful, oppressive and generally has a negative impact, in many ways, on the quality of the recipient’s life. It’s possible to affect their mentality to such a degree, that the person can’t function normally in their everyday occupations. Different behavioral types range from harrowing codependence to mental or/and physical abuse.

“The relationship with my partner is difficult. I understand that this is happening because he tends to dominate me, my habits, my friends. He constantly wants to control me. I understand that something is going on with me and I can’t set boundaries, say no.”

1. 3^rd-year university student

Toxic relationships may deeply affect our lives. When we have to deal with a manipulative person, for instance, the toxicity can be expressed as physical and mental abuse combined. The person, which theoretically is a circumstantial victim, doesn’t conceive the future turn the events may take, believing that whatever he’s experiencing is normal. As a result, no boundaries are set and no resistance is shown. This way, the toxic elements keep getting worse. The receiver usually feels trapped, controlled and exhausted, even cut off from his social environment.

It’s worth noting that there are many different types of toxic behavior, each one following a distinct towards the recipient, which results in corresponding outcomes. The person that experiences such treatment, loses his self-respect, finds it difficult to understand his limits and has a negative disposal, significantly affecting his prosperity. It is known that in such relationships insecurity, control and oppression prevail. Frequently, the receiver feels such a lack of energy that he can’t even complete his everyday obligations. There are cases where with a change in the relationship’s dynamic there is a possibility of improvement or even elimination of the toxic element.

Good practices guide

Some ways to manage a toxic relationship:

• Avoid the word “Sorry”: it’s a manipulative person’s tactic to cause guilt and remorse. When we apologize, we just make things worse by giving the person more space to repeat the controlling treatment.
• Set your boundaries: a toxic personality breaks and pushes boundaries, especially when they have not been set clearly on our part. Express yourself with clarity.
• Think about your wants and needs: dare to claim what you want on a practical and emotional level. Don’t make agreements about matters that clearly concern you.
• Discuss openly the matter: take responsibility on your part and ask to talk about the toxicity in your relationship.
• Spend less time with them: if there is a possibility, try and limit the time you spend together. Try to avoid contact to clearly understand how you feel, when you are apart.
• Make peace with yourself: nobody can judge you for who you are, your abilities, or your personality. Strengthen your internal and external voice.
• Give time to the relationship: if you decide, for your reasons, that you want to move further with this relationship, give it some time.
• Keep your distance: if you decide that you no longer can tolerate this situation, remove it entirely from your life. Your complete and definitive departure is the only solution.

It is important to remember that we are responsible for the care of ourselves and our prosperity. There are times when a decision might be tough and cruel. However, we shouldn’t negotiate our happiness. Let’s learn how to love ourselves more and give priority to our needs.