When we experience a difficult period of life and we feel overwhelmed with negative emotions and thoughts, however different these periods may be from each other, they have something in common: the feeling we are at an impasse. That happens because at that point we feel like we run out of possibilities. When we experience our crises with despair, either in terms of social crises (the Pandemic) or in personal ones (health issues, relationships, professional issues), what really happens is that we lose our sense of freedom. As if the external barriers define our lives (social constraints, other people’s decisions about our relationship or work). This essay aims to point out the factors, that can help us increase our inner peace and as a result, be able to manage our difficulties.

“I feel like I have to act in a certain way to make people love me. Not as I would like, but as others think I should.”

1. Student of Democritus University of Thrace, 21 years old.

The term Inner peace is used here to express the sense a person has when there are alternative possibilities and new ways to act, despite the constraints that can be imposed from external factors. That sense may be influenced by the current life conditions, but it is not determined by them. For instance, two people can react and feel completely different in the same stressful situation. Even the same person could react different in two similar stressful conditions. According to Existentialism, a key factor for the people to feel free, is making decisions and not staying neutral. Freedom forces us to take a stand, to make a choice. This is not always an easy thing to do for everyone. Although we have to make decisions all the time in our lives, there are some occasions, in which it seems impossible to make a choice. It feels as if there is no appropriate way to behave. Either way would be a mistake.  The insecurity we have to face in order to be free often prevents us from taking a path. It is then that the conflict between our own interests and the external conditions is internalized and we feel distress. Some examples are listed below.

Indications of an inner conflict:  

1. Feeling discouraged.
2. Repressing our emotions, which also prevents us from having positive thoughts and memories.
3. A sense of guilt and shame without having previously done anything wrong.
4. A permanent inadequacy of taking decisions and constant negative expectations of the consequences of our actions.

“I feel helpless when I am at the university because of the hostile environment. I can’t do anything to change the way people behave and I don’t know how I’ll be able to cope with it in the future.”

1. Student of Democritus University of Thrace, 20 years old

According to Milton Erikson, “every human being possesses an intrapsychic free space, which represents a shelter from the crowding of the collective influences of the system and enables a personal and inner attitude even in extremely threatening life situations.” In order for a person to be able to get in touch with his personal shelter even in cases where external factors (society, relationships with other people) make it difficult, an important first step is that the person accepts the situation in which he is trapped. Accepting does not mean I am not socially and politically active, or that I do not individually strive for a better quality of life.

By accepting would mean stop trying to change things that are out of my control. I can support the rights of groups that are being violated, but I cannot prevent the bad behavior of another person towards that group. I can decide what I want to do with my school, but I can’t force myself to be motivated about it. I can make some changes in my own behavior in a relationship, but I cannot determine how the other person will behave towards me. In conclusion, it is not the solution to the problem that will offer me the possibilities I need to feel free, but the choices I will make even though the problem has not yet been solved.

Listed below are some elements that can be used in our daily life to help us in this direction.

Important factors for the retrieval of our inner peace:

1. Trust: Trusting myself and others can give me the power to accept my weaknesses. It also gives me the possibility to decide how I will process all the information I get from the outside.
2. Optimism: Optimism in a few words means focusing in the positive side. The positive elements inside me, of my development, in the world, in others. Optimistic people have a better perception of things and generalize less the misfortunes. Either they are responsible for something or external factors, they will learn from it. Negative events are seen as temporary and manageable.
3. Humor: Humor is when one laughs despite the difficulties. The question here is: How can you see the situation from a funny perspective? The answer would offer us a new perspective of life and reality. It changes radically the emotional state we are in the moment and give us hope.